I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
