Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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