Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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