It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
