No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
