Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
