Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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