No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you didnt know i had herpes?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
