i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
