I CAN MOONWALK!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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