No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This is the high leading the old right now
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
