She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
