Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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