I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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