some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
