she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
