Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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