You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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