The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
