You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
