Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
