Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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