Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
