then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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