I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
