The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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