I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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