Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
