Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
