the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she looked like the before picture.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
