So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
