I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wish they made helmets for livers.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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