dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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