i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
wow bdsm is so cute
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
