Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
