i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Pooping to opera.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
