he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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