she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
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