I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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