I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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