i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
