I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
