if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
