To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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