What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
