They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
do nipples grow back?
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