You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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