We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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