Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
how does that bad decision feel?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize