just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My feet surprised me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
